There have been many rumors and innuendos surrounding my death by a lady vampire in the Geblüt Mansion of Hell, Michigan. I wanted to put my friends at ease in letting them know that I am back from the dead, or rather undead--so to speak, and doing better than ever.
For those of you who are wondering about all the strange photos and comments on my Wall, I'll explain: for forty two minutes on February 18, 2010, I clogged up the social networking airwaves with a literary ruse in the grand style of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar” or “The Balloon Hoax.” For the past week I had been posting how a friend in real estate had gotten a mansion in Hell, Michigan that had been foreclosed. I told all how I planned to visit the mansion and would be sending back a feed as I toured the old place, which had links to a lady vampire and people who had disappeared over the years in the 40 acres surrounding the mansion. At the time set I went “live,” uploading photos I had stored on my computer every few minutes. The comments were hilarious and I spent those forty two minutes laughing to the point of crying, especially when I uploaded the photo of my wife as the vampire.
Alas egad! Apparently I offended some who thought my untimely death by the teeth of Lady Esselte was real, only to later conclude they may have wasted their time. I am sorry for this. After all, there are many more important things to do on social networking sites like announcing how many pigs you bought at the farm and passing out sparkly hearts and shimmering rainbows. Did I mention glittering fish? And let’s not forget those photos of animals hugging and florescent pink bunnies in rain-slicks that need to be given away.
Okay, on second thought I am not sorry for having caused this literary brouhaha. I am glad for those of you who were able to experience this with me “live’ and I hope you will remember it for some time to come. I have never seen this done before on a social networking site. I plan to publish the entire ruse as it unfolded in my new short collection. It should drop in Q4 of this year. I will keep you--well--posted.
In closing, I sincerely hope this post has gone a long way to dispelling those rumors and innuendos surrounding my death by lady vampire. Thanks to all of you who participated (willingly or unwillingly).
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